Integrating EI, NVC, and Conflict Resolution Skills ~ Practice Is Important!

I knew that I would eventually be tested, as we all are regularly, by something that would test my emotional sanguinity and groundedness, but I had no idea it would be so soon.

I had a very unpleasant conflict with someone very dear to me, and we both lost it. We both yelled. All of my good intentions to use all the amazing EI skills I’ve been working on developing and all the critical NVC skills I’ve been learning for the past nine weeks just evaporated. We know this is called becoming “de-skilled” and we know it can happen to almost any of us.

NVC TOOLS For Men and Women:
Please click on the letters “NVC” (below) to learn more about how NVC can help us all:


View more presentations from UCSC.

NVC Feelings List:

NVC Needs List:

I’m thrilled to attend a 4-day NVC Empathy Intensive with Thom Bond from NYC NVC in the Hamptons this coming week. I cannot wait and am almost completely packed!

Thom’s email announces: “Camp, Swim, Eat, Hike, Snorkel, Row, Laugh, Cry – Amazing New July Empathy Intensive Info –

Living from Within – 4-Day Empathy Intensive
July 16th – 19th on Long Island
This intensive offers an opportunity to understand and practice empathy and self-empathy at a new level and identify practices you can use for the rest of your life.

This intensive is open to anyone who seeks to understand and practice NVC empathy. No one will be turned away for lack of experience. We are offering tracks for folks with levels of experience from beginner to intermediate to advanced.

Thom adds this:
“Most of the people I’ve worked with over the years, myself included, get to a point (or have gotten to a point) where we know what NVC is, yet struggle to “integrate” it at the depth we know is possible.

I have found, time after time, that it is our ability to internally empathize and selfj-empathize that is a key to being compassionate with ourselves in our significant relationships and in our professional lives. Through empathy and self-empathy we can understand what we want and how to get it in a way that is in harmony with our values. We can hold a more compassionate view of the world more often. We can practice NVC.

These intensives are intended to support and inspire participants in breaking through and having a deeper and more sustainable integration of empathy and self-empathy than ever before. In a supportive, community environment, we experience challenge, guidance, nurturing, and support in all the pieces that go into empathy, self-empathy and seeing the world empathically.

Throughout our time together, we will deepen our capacity for being present, being aware of our focus, and our own capabilities and willingness, moment by moment.

Going Deeper:
Feelings and Needs are the heart of empathy.
So, our relationship to them directly influences the quality and depth of our empathy.
At these intensives, through practice and exercise, we will broaden and enrich our understanding and experience of feelings and needs (our own and others’) and thereby deepen our practice of empathy and self-empathy.

Throughout the intensive, we will build on that work with well-defined empathy and self-empathy processes to get immediate and fruitful practice

As an NVC trainer, I (Thom Bond) am committed to supporting myself and everyone in sharing a level of connection that transcends conflict and enriches our lives, our relationships, and our world.

It’s a great time in history when we can so clearly identify, learn and practice the skills of making peace within ourselves and in the world. I am profoundly grateful to be a part of that. These intensives offer a new way to contribute to a more wonderful life and world for generations to come. Plus they are alot of fun!” (Thom Bond).

I can’t wait! I look forward to learning more and to having experiential practice in a supportive community learning environment.

I already know that I want to do my best to learn as much as I can about NVC and become a certified trainer.

EI theory is wonderful. Reading about EI and NVC is wonderful. Conferences, books, and classes are wonderful.

To have the opportunity to practice with others is amazing.

We all need practice. We need to unlearn so much of how we’ve been taught to understand our feelings and needs. We need to forgive ourselves and others when we don’t do our best. We need to promise to do better. We need to take action to ensure we’ll do better. My action is to attend this practice intensive.

What will your action be?



About Denise A Romano

Denise A Romano is the author of The HR Toolkit: An Indispensable Resource for Being a Credible Activist, published by McGraw Hill in 2010. She is a workplace expert and has a strong interest in government, business, workplace, and personal ethics. She can be found on LinkedIn. View all posts by Denise A Romano

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